i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize