"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize