Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I believe in your delicious
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize