i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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