She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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