Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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