don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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