he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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