he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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