it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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