i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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