I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Still dying that you shit outside
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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