You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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