who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
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FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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