nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize