i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
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Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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