So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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