I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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