I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize