Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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