Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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