I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize