it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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