Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize