dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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