Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just barfed on his mom.

(404): View more from Georgia

You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Why are you barefoot at a strip club?

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(310): View more from California

OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP

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