those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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