just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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