"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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