yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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