She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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