Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize