The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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