did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize