it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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