He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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