i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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