I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
do nipples grow back?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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