The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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