I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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