And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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