i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize