I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize