i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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