You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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