I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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