More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize