Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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