Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
COCAINE IS GR8
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize