apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When are your genitals available?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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