i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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