Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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